Church is Hard!

Really I could just stick with the title and say enough said.  But lately church has become a total nightmare!  Without fail Olivia will throw a fit during the sacrment because she wants something she can't have.  Porter will try to go out to the bathroom because he "has to go so bad!" even though he went 10 minutes before. And then start poking everyone around him. Logan is finally at that stage that for the most part he sits and he's quiet.  Whether he's getting anything or not out of sacrament is another topic.  I just feel very frustrated.  Today Olivia and Porter got into a shoving match and she started screaming and had to be taken out.  I then got after Porter and he was mad a sulky.  The testimonies started and things calmed down for a moment.  A young woman in the ward got up and stared talking about following her parents advice even though she didn't want to she knew it was the right thing to do.  She bore a beautiful testimony and Porter looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said, "mom I'm feeling the spirit so strong!"  Tears welled in my eyes as I held this sweet boy.  Yes church is frustrating with little kids! Yes it's a battle to get there on time and to sit still for the sacrament! But it is so worth it.  While most of the time I feel like nobody in my family is getting anything out of this and why do I do this to myself by going back each week.  I get to have these little moments with my kids, where the spirit will touch them and they can recognize it and they share it with me.  I don't know if I'll really miss this stage of life of taking little kids to church, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to see my childrens testimony seeds start to grow.